Countdown America

Less than 24 hours from now I'll be in the air, en route to lovely Dulles, Washington, DC.  I am sooo excited, as everyone in my office already knows.  For the past week I've done nothing but talk about how excited I am to go home.  They have asked me to bring back a few magical things that I've taught them about (Cheeze Whiz, Twinkies, etc), and they made me practice the British I've learned ("Are you alright?" and other words that must be said out loud or they just don't sound British).  I'm happy to see that they still are entertained by American-ism and haven't found it completely annoying yet.  I have a feeling we will get to this point soon enough.  

So I land tomorrow at 2:10, hopefully will get through customs and all that jazz in a reasonable time, head over to Trisha's, and then completely overload myself with my friends.  I can't wait.  SOO MUCH FUN!!  Monday I have to pop in the AFP office where I'll have to answer "How is London?" "Where do you live?" "What's the gtnews' office like?" about 75 times, but that's ok.  Then onto the train up the good old Green Brook for the week.  After Christmas I'll head back to DC for new years.  Then back to London where I will await Trever's arrival!  I'm actually really looking forward to that too so I can finally do some touristy things.  

Last night we had the going away party for Sanjima.  It took place at "The George", which is right around the corner from my office and the most stereotypical old man British pub.  They have like 6 beers on tap and if you order one from a bottle I'm pretty sure they judge you. Luckily I have been there so often over the past month the bartenders are starting to recognize me, and recognize that I have conformed to the British way of drinking pints.  The first time I went there I think they thought I was some lost tourist.  Now they have respect.  America, what?!?  So we parked at The George throwing back pints of Stella wishing Sanjima didn't have to leave.  Then someone had to be the jerk to bring out the shots (let's be honest, this person is usually me, but I don't know how to order shots here because no one has ever heard of a red headed slut).  Sambuka.  Eww.  I don't know what kind of alcohol it is, where it came from, or why it was invented, but it tastes like liccorish flavored rubbing alcohol, and I don't like liccorish.  The other option was straight up rum.  I am a big enough person to admit when other cultures get something right, but in America we have definitely got the stronghold on shots (and pizza and chinese food).  So yes, successful night and, clearly, rough morning.  

Not much else to report except that this is the slowest day ever, AND Ben (who works in my office) saw Jude Law today!  How cool is that?  I was super jealous, but now know the neighborhood he lives in so I can successfully stalk him.  

Ok that's about the most I can manage to do right now.  One more hour til I can go home.  See you DC folks TOMORROW!!!!

Flem is gross

There are some things in London I'm not sure I will ever get used to.  Watching "A History of Violence" at 10 pm on a week day on basic cable and hearing the f bomb dropped every other word and seeing full frontal nudity...that always is a bit surprising.  This country's obsession with putting fruit into every pastry (mincemeat pie -doesn't actually have meat in it-, Christmas pudding, etc...I've tried a few and they all are disgusting).  One thing I hope I don't ever get used to is the overwhelming number of languages you hear walking down the street: english, spanish, italian, american (yes it is different from english.  stay tuned for my english to english dictionary that I'll be writing over the next year), polish, russian, varieties of middle eastern languages, etc.  London really is the most global city I've ever been to.  

That being said...I have to say, listening to eastern european (and even dutch) languages being spoken at early hours of the day (or any time really) really induces my gag reflex.  Add it to the list of things that make my liver quiver (other things on this list include hairy babies, birds, that pregnant dude, cheerios in milk, several stories that Jess tells me while we are both using our work phones for non-related international work calls).  I think its the insane amount of flem used to say anything.  Its really quite disgusting.  It doesn't help that my boss speaks this (its one of 5 that she speaks- whatever, I speak english, that's the only one that really matters in business, and yes, I realize that makes me an elitist).  Anyway, I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but the point is flem is gross.  Eww...I just dry heaved thinking about it.  

So Christmas is in full swing here in London.  Everyone goes out every night between now and after new years because no one is really doing work, or has done work for the past week or so.  I'm pretty sure this is where the idea of the 12 days of Christmas came from.  People are literally acting like are all on vacation now.  Its great!  I really appreciate this approach to a work-life balance a lot.  It has made my transition to a new country much easier.  I finished the majority of my Christmas shopping online (things you can do when you aren't really working) and have had the phone company come and set up, and ordered cable!  

Next week is going to be great.  Tuesday is our work Christmas lunch.  This consists of secret santa exchange in the morning, leave at noon for a lunch that goes until 4, and then parade over the bar to continue the party.  Thursday is a goodbye lunch into drinks for Sanjima (leaving to travel the world with her hubby for like 6 months).  Friday is the last day before I leave for AMERICA!! whoo!!!  I'm very excited to see everyone in dc and jersey and hopefully I'll pop into the city as well.  

If you want anything fun from London, put in your orders now.  I'll see you all soon!

What's Hanukkah?

I walk down the streets, go to work, shop, and go out like I'm in any major American city.  And then something happens to strike me back to reality that I am in London and it is not like America.

So I'm sitting at my desk listening to Christmas music via iTunes on an American radio station and the Hanukkah song comes on.  Obviously.  Adam Sandler is a staple in American Christmas music.  Out of curiosity I ask outloud "Do they play the Hanukkah song here?"  Silence.  Then someone asks "What's Hanukkah?" "Oh is that that thing that is every other Friday?"  What???  What's Hanukkah??  So I dig back (for the second time since being here) to my grade school education and everything Gabby's mom Mrs. Silverlight ever taught us once a year since I moved to Green Brook.  I tell my colleagues that Hanukkah is the festival of lights, celebrating when the jewish people were hiding from someone (I took some liberties here because I'm a little foggy) and they had to burn candles but they only had a little oil left.  Well through some miracle the oil lasting for 8 days in a row and all the Jewish people survived.  One person goes, ohhh I think I've heard of the festival of lights or something.  Someone else asks if I am Jewish and is that why I know so much about it.  This is the first time someone has asked me if I was Jewish and they were actually serious.  Besides the fact that my last name is Christian and I went to Catholic University (which they all know because obviously I tell everyone that Catholic was the best school EVER), they also all know that I am going home for Christmas.  

I then realized that no one here has ever played the dreidal game!  Such a shame.  We decided that the reason they probably never heard of Hanukkah is A) america is a country based on embracing differences and celebrating them so that's probably why I know about it and B) there are only 295,000 Jews in the UK vs the 5.3 million in America.  

After that lesson my BOSS goes, well I don't know much about Judaism but I do know a joke!  "Oh god" I shutter.  She goes, "no no its really sweet though, its not bad at all!  What is a jewish person's biggest dilemma?  Free ham."  "Oh god." I shutter again.  But here in the land of the monarchy, anything goes!  A few moments later when someone mentioned a company called "Go Native" my boss misheard the name thinking they mentioned a male reproductive organ and exclaimed that she would definitely buy something from that company.  You have gotta love the lack of political correctness in this country.  

I wasn't going to post anything today but I just had to share that story because its conversations like that that really remind me that I am in a foreign land.  Have a great weekend!

What's a twinkie?

As Christmas quickly approaches (as does my trip home) I'm learning more and more about the differences between London and America.  My colleagues had some special requests of American goodies that I bring back:

1) Cheese whiz - I've been talking about how Americans love cheese and this is one classic kind that my british friends are absolutely disgusted by.  "How can you put cheese in a can??"  "You can, and its awesome"

2) Nyquil - Yes they have some equivalent of it here, but those who have had Nyquil said its the best thing in the world and if they lived in America they would probably be hopped up on cold medicine all the time

3) Twinkies - We are all talking about all the different american products that they don't have here and Mia goes "I have a question.  What is a twinkie?  I've seen it talked about in movies but i have no idea!" My other colleague Joy (originally canadian) and I start laughing hysterically and I said well when the world ends, anyone who is left will all meet at the twinkie factory because that's going to be the only food that survived.  I think Mia will be thoroughly disgusted when I do bring one back for her, but its an experience she must have.

There are some other things that they don't know about, that some americans don't even know about, that I enlightened them to.  Things like pork roll and the ever classic Christmas tune "Dominic the Donkey".  I sent the tube video around the office and as they all shuttered and called it the most ridiculous and annoying thing they have ever heard, I realized some things are probably best kept in New Jersey.  

I was amazed today when everyone started talking about getting a Christmas tree for our office.  I was confused and mildly offended for anyone who isn't Christian.  Finally I spoke up and said "Are we allowed to do that?  I mean, what if someone isn't Christian?".  Everyone looked at me like I just ripped baby Jesus out of the manger.  They all replied with "Who cares?" "Christmas is about gifts and family" and "'Winter Festival' is the dumbest phrase Americans have ever come up with..I mean, COME ON!"  I sat back down and realized I am definitely not in Kansas anymore.  For a city that is more culturally diverse than any I've ever experienced, people are also much less concerned with being "politically correct".  Its a little weird to me, but refreshing just the same.  

On a much lighter note, I found out today that I can certain radio stations on my computer through itunes.  Of the channels I found - 107.3!!  Anyone who has ever taken a ride in Lucky with me (my lovely protege which is now sitting on the side of route 22 waiting to be sold..any takers please let me know...she's got a lot of love still left to give!) knows that 107.3 is one of my favorite radio stations.  They really do play the best mix of the 80s, 90s and today.  I'm super pumped!  It helped me forget about the first investment that I made since I've been here.  A TV.  Not fun to put a dent in my first paycheck that we only get once a month, but definitely crucial (happy liz?) for my sanity.  I'm tired of reading every night. 

Its going to be a very cold 3 here tomorrow (whatever that means) so I guess winter is really here!  I hope that its at least snowing for you guys or definitely not raining.  See you all in a few weeks!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hey all, Happy Thanksgiving!  While you are all getting hopped up on triptophane and watching football, I'll be working trying to call companies in America that are clearly closed aka playing on perezhilton all day.  

In general news, I got a cell phone two days ago and have 200 free minutes to America for landlines and mobiles!  I'm very excited.  I talked to Liz last night on the phone to test it out.  She asked how things were going (other than the ranch dressing of course), I told her how I made the office buy coffee because the tea they have here is very scary and different to me.  What is white tea, fennell tea?  So I found a french press in the back of the kitchen and have made the office a little more american.  Liz told me how excited she was about thanksgiving dinner with the whole McKiernan clan today.  That got me thinking about past Thanksgiving over the years.  

Years ago (when there were only a couple of grandchildren and Mike, Liz and I were in our glory with the amount of spoiling we got), we spent it at my grandma's big house where my mom was raised, usually sitting on a piano bench because we didn't have enough chairs (the event yielded a crowd of about 15-20 people and 1-2 dogs depending on who was born at the time), watching my uncle Jim parade in a different girlfriend every year and judging them based on what kind of puzzles they did with Mike, Liz and I, and having jump on uncle Tom time right after dinner (which looking back was probably super painful for him).  Then when g'ma moved to her 2 bedroom apartment that is perpetually 85 degrees ("Mrs. Seinfeld, can you PLEASE turn on the airconditioning!") with the same 20 or so people and 1-2 dogs, it gave a new definition to the idea of family togetherness.  Last year's Thanksgiving was definitely an interesting one...the first one I did with just my friends.  It was clearly a first for many of us with the turkey that just wouldn't cook (it took about 4 hours longer than we thought- never let a man who says "oh yeah trust me I've got this under control" be in charge of anything).  At least we had many many many bottles of wine and the musical stylings of dean martin to keep us entertained.  And then this year too something different with new friends.  

Of course there are the constants: the thanksgiving day parade, turkey, over-eating, football and good times with friends and family.  One of the british people I work with asked me what Thanksgiving celebrates.  Thinking back to 4th grade social studies, I told her "well, it celebrates when the pilgrams and native americans first came together to enjoy a meal...and then we killed a lot of them, but now they can have casinos and not pay taxes so everyone wins!" At first she was confused but then realized that they celebrate a holiday here of the day that two warring parts of the country came together for a break in the war to play soccer, and then the next day they fought again.  Crazy brits.  But really, everyone knows Thanksgiving celebrates the kick off to the season were you expect to gain 5-10 pounds, you spend too much money, and you get to see all those relatives who don't really know who you are (yes JMac I'm talking to you...I'm your cousin.  Even if I only see you twice a year and am 20 years older than you, we are related and I still know your name).  So anyway, I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!  I miss you and love you all!  

London is missing out

There are a few CRUTIAL things that I've noticed are missing from this country:

1) RANCH DRESSING - First of all I must say I'm a little surprised my favorite red headed Italian (also lover of ranch dressing) did not warn me about this travesty.  When I left I said to Jess "you know, I'm a little worried about moving across the world, but as long as they have ranch dressing I'll be fine."  And yet, here I am, sans ranch.  Clearly I'm making a stop to cosco when I get home and stocking up. 

2) Pandora - The sad thing is, even some Americans don't know what they are missing out on because they never had it when they lived at home.  Some licensing laws say they can't have pandora here.  Stupid.

3) Root beer - but I don't really care because I don't like root beer.  

Other than that things are going well!  Last week went really well (despite my discovery of no ranch).  Work is starting to go really well, I had my first sale, kind of.  Friday night I met up with Susan's friend Andy.  He's been here for 3 years from Boston and he sounds like he just walked out of Fenway.  His accent is wicked bad.  Carolina (roommate) and I met up with him by his office and then journeyed over to Clapham (pronounced Clapam, not Clap-ham like I called it at first), went out for dinner and then went to another bar.  Its a very cute area in south London.  

Saturday morning was rough because we had to move.  It wasn't that bad because I only had three suitcases but I was mildly dehydrated so it was a little painful.  I realized I've never moved not hungover.  It probably is not that bad if you aren't.  But anyway, we signed the lease, moved in and then went to "THE MALL".  This is something that everyone I have met in London (including cab drivers) have talked about.  Basically its a mall, like Pentagon city or Bridgewater Commons.  They don't really have them here and they just finished building this one so everyone is obsessed with it.  They think you can get anything there (including ranch dressing----you can't).  They say its the biggest mall in the UK, in Europe, in the World..I've heard it all.  I would compare it to Pentagon City, but with a thousand more people crammed in it who all walk slower than a snail.  I actually told one girl "You can't just stop there, keep walking!!".  She looked at me like I just told her I killed her puppy.  Oh well I had like 20 pounds on each arm.  Move it or lose it sister.  Anyway, with the mall you have to let the London people think they are better than Americans sometimes; it keeps them happy.  So we got bedding and bathroom stuff there, went home and I passed out at about 10 pm.

Sunday I woke up very early realizing I am in charge of mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving dinner at Allison and Chris's and I have no pots, no potatoes, no milk, no butter, nothing.  So I try to bit the bullet and buy pre made mashed potatoes.  The first grocery store I went to --oh yeah and it snowed Saturday night into Sunday morning, but then was washed away by rain..shocker--- ok I went to the store to buy those but the first store was closed at 9.  Then I found another and found frozen mashed potatoes.  Great success...and they actually tasted really good too!  So I slaved over the hot microwave all morning getting those ready and then got ready and went to Allison and Chris's.  They had 30 people over for Thanksgiving dinner, Americans and Brits.  It was so much fun!  I met a bunch of new people, including one of the largest men I've ever seen in my life.  He plays professional rugby here and is like 6'6'' and probably four feet wide at the shoulders.  Not fat though.  He's called big james, and the other james who is like 6'1'' is called little james.  So it was a big success, and I got a ride home from new friends who live pretty close to me so that was good...always a plus to get a ride because, as Kirsten says, who takes public transporation on the weekend?

Today I'm hopefully getting a cell phone and pillows (I forgot those on Saturday).  Soon I'll be all settled in!  

Good things

Good things are happening!!  

1) Friday night I went out with Jeanine's friend and his wife and they are rockstar.  Allison is from Staten Island so I think she landed in London and decided to take over like any good New Yorker would.  She's getting close too...she invited me to Thanksgiving, her book club, and a murder mystery dinner.  And she introduced me to a few other friends of hers as well

2) Saturday Carolina and I found an apartment!  Its in Shepherd's Bush Market and is very secure (24 hour concierge service), has like 500 apts in the building and they are all young professionals, and they have mixers so we can all meet!  Hopefully people actually go to those things...they probably lure us with free booze.

3) I just laughed out loud really hard for the first time since being here.  My co-workers and I were all joking around and I sneezed.  Everyone kind of went, umm...God bless you... because it was one of those weird sneezes of mine.  Then it gets dead quiet and the IT guy, who speaks very broken english (not sure what he is...Pakistani or something), goes "That was weird."  I was dying and he then asked if he wasn't supposed to say that.  Good times.  

4) I figured out that if you want a regular coffee you order an "Americana".  How creative.  

Tonight we have a mixer with the new company that we just acquired.  They supposedly have lots of mid 20s guys that work there so maybe I can find my new work husband and finally replace Jason (don't worry Jason, as my first work husband you'll always has a piece of my heart). 

London is weird

Things that I've noticed about London that are weird:

1) The toilet seats are very big.  Too big for my little boney flass.  I always feel like I'm going to fall in.

2) When you order coffee they ask if you want it black or white (with milk), but the milk they give you is "frothy".  Not cool.

3) When you order a chicken bacon sandwich from McDonalds (which I did last night and saw a kid from catholic, but I'll get to that later), instead of asking if you want the chicken fried or grilled, they ask if you want it "brown or white".  I almost threw up when the guy asked me that.  

Things that I think America should do like London does:

1) I have a heated towel rack in my shower (which doesn't have a curtain, just a one foot wide pain of glass, very odd).  The towel rack plugs into the wall (now that I'm thinking about it, not that safe actually...probably why the shower pressure isn't strong and the water only gets pushed like 3 inches) and it heats your towel while you shower!!!! BEST THING EVER!  Also, you can heat the floor but I can't remember which button it is, so I don't do that. 

Just that one thing so far.  

OK so this dude from Catholic.  Further proof that even though only about 600 of us graduate each year we are destined to be friends with each other and drift towards each other no matter where we are or what we do.  We are linked with each other to the bitter end.  Probably because we are the only ones who can understand our mild alcoholic tendencies and sinful ways mixed with our Catholic beliefs.  What kind of people go out 6 nights a week in college and then go to church at 9pm on Sunday where you see everyone that you were at the bar with and up at afterhours with until about 4 am?  CUA does all it.  Anyway, I digress.  

So I'm in McDonald's waiting for my white chicken and getting the eye from some little british dude who probably weighs about as much as my left leg soaking wet when I turn around and see this guy come in wearing a Catholic University sweatshirt.  IMMEDIATELY I charge over to this poor guy, rip out my ipod and say "did you go to Catholic??".  "umm.  yeah." "ME TOO!!"  He then understood why I was so weird.  He didn't look familiar to me so I assumed he was squad.  He said he was architecture and graduated in 2004.  I asked if he knew Pete Clark.  He didn't.  This made me question him on several levels.  The architecture school has like 5 people in it doesn't it?  Weird.  Anyway, my food came up shortly after he told me he was just passing through on the way to India.  I told him good luck with all that and left.  

So this weekend I have plans tonight to meet up with Jeanine (from AFP)'s friends who live here.  They seem very nice.  Its a couple who are both American.  The guy is from Jersey I believe, so I automatically like him.  I think his wife is from upstate New York so I pretty much trust her too.  Saturday I will probably do some shopping with her and then hopefully check out some flats.  OH!  Vocab lesson of the day.  Ever wonder where the word "sublet" comes from?  I know I always have.  I always thought it should have been called subrent.  It actually comes from the british word "let" meaning to rent.  There you go.  London is making me smarter.  On the other hand, as Dave would say, "My wit levels have flat lined".  I'm the least funny I've ever been.  Well I don't know that I was ever that funny, but at least witty/sarcastic.  That's all gone.  My sarcasm IQ has dropped at least 20 points in this last week.  Why? you may ask.  Well the wittiest thing I've seen or experienced was on law and order when Lenny and the partner who was also Benny in the original cast of Rent were in a restaurant where the murder took place.  Their conversation went something like this:

'Rent' partner: The food is really good here.

Lenny: Yeah, I hear its to DIE for.

ba dum cha

Yes, so please send funny vibes and more specifically emails to me to remind me of what American humor is.  

I plan on watching the Giants at 6 pm at an American sports bar on Sunday.  I'm going to try to recruit some Susan's friends from here to come because they are probably funny.  She sent me information for an American guy who I for sure must spend time with.  He's from Boston I believe so he'll probably be funny. 

Well that's about all for now.  Until next time, "insert witty comment here".

Week 1

I've only been in London for 4 days, but I've already made some crucial discoveries:

1) No one lives in central London

2) They do not have taco bell 

3) Their cooking shows include clips of the chef going to church and talking about how great it is to have God (this distraction may be a contributing factor in reasons they are all horrible chefs)

3) Basic cable includes 6 channels, one of which shows Law and Order episodes from 8-midnight, the others allow girls to be topless without any problem

But I'm getting ahead of myself here.  I landed in London on Sunday.  After getting to my hotel so quickly that they weren't ready for me (clearly americans do everything a little more speedily than they do here), I finally got into my room and took a look around.  Not bad.  Kitchen area, living room with couch, chair, tv and coffee table, dining area (where they gave me my orientation groceries which included two partially skimmed milk containers - not refridgerated -, granola, and powered coffee) and a bedroom.  I overlook Piccadilly Circus, which is essentially like living three floors above Times Square.  I found a way to block out the lights at night and the sounds (thank you ipod), so I've learned to sleep through the night.  

I'm also starting to get settled in at work.  The  9:30 am-5 or 5:30 pm work day seems like something I'll be able to get used to.  Some of my new colleagues have taken me under their wing and have tried to help me get accustomed to life here, which is nice.

I've started reaching out to all the people I've been connected with care of my lovely friends.  This Friday I have drinks with a couple and then plans for shopping after.  I'm super excited about that.  Hopefully I'll also check out a few flats with my future roommate and get out of the red light district as soon as possible.  

I went to the bank today and have figured out it will be much easier than I thought to get an account (thank you HSBC), so I'm also really amped about that (yes, I'm still trying to make "amped" happen).  Its the little things in life that make you smile when are in a situation like this I think.  

Overall, things are look up!  I'm starting to figure out things a little and think that by the time I'm home for Christmas I'll be settled in and have a nice little routine and crew here.    

ps. Mike and Liz got all the literary skill in our family, so please excuse if this isn't as well written as it should be :)