Another one bites the dust

While this is all still fresh in my mind, I thought I should cover the dates first, and then I'll talk about Spain (aka my future home).

The Wednesday before we left for holiday, I went out on my first online dating date.  We went out for drinks in SheBu.  It was ok.  It was mildly awkward, and I got the sense that he's either funny, or kind of a douche.  We alternated buying drinks for each other and called it a day at about 10:30.  We made plans for dinner the Saturday after I get back from Spain.  I left thinking, eh...he's ok.  Definitely not a love connection.

Thursday V and I headed for Spain, aka heaven.  More of that later.

While we were in Spain I thought more about it and decided I'm definitely not excited for the date on Saturday, and I don't want to go.  V told me I needed to, its just dinner, maybe it will get better.  It should be noted that V is basically in love with the guy she went out with so she is in full loved up mode and therefore is hardcore on the positive train.

Saturday morning comes and I think I don't want to do this, but whatever, I have nothing else to do on Saturday night.  May as well.  I told him via text that I will not be boozing really because my liver has thrown up the white flag after the week long binge in Spain, and he replies basically trying to get me to change my mind.  This immediately puts a bad taste in my mouth.  So I get ready and head for the bus, only to realize that we were supposed to be meeting at 7, not 7:30 so I'm going to already be late.  I text and tell him this.  Eventually I get there.  We sit down for dinner and I think, ok you can do this, stay positive.  We decide to get a bottle of wine (after he mocks me for not drinking heavily).  He then encourages me to get a starter.  I wasn't going to, but thought ok why not.  I order mussels and he says oo they have oysters, I'm going to get them.  So the conversation is dominated mostly be my talking about my holiday because he really has nothing to contribute the conversation.  When the oysters get there, he shoots one and then says "I love oysters because it's like a wave going down your throat!"

Um...what??

I change the subject to the election and have him "explain" it to me because I'm such a silly girl and I don't understand it!  He goes on about that for a while, then our steaks come.  Oh, I forgot to mention, all throughout dinner he's trying to slyly fill up my wine glass so whenever he went to the bathroom I poured my glass into his glass so I was drinking less and the bottle was getting done with more quickly because then I could refill my glass and sip on that for a while.  So the food is cleared, he asks if I wanted to get another bottle of wine.  It was still pretty early so I said fine.  So, again, I'm nursing my drink, and he's basically down the bottle by himself.  He continues making comments about me drinking slowly.  I go to the bathroom to text V about how horribly its going.  I come back and he said, thank goodness you came back, I was worried you ran off!  I said, haha sadly, my jacket was still here, so I couldn't.  He laughs, not realizing I'm serious.

The bill comes.  We are in the middle of a conversation so it just sits there for a minute.  Being the lady I am, I perform the obligatory reach for my wallet, fully expecting him to say, no no, please let me.

He says nothing.

I pull my wallet out of my purse and put it on the table.

He says nothing.

I take my debit card out of the wallet and toss it at the bill.

He says, "So, do you want to just put it all on your card and I'll give you cash?"

"Um.  sure."

The waitress comes and takes the payment and he says "now I look like a big cheapskate don't I? haha!".  Yes, yes you do.  He says he'll make it up to me with a drink at the bar across the street.  Fine.

We go across the street and he orders another bottle of wine.  Well, I'll give him this, he's dedicated.  Somehow the topic of grey hair arises.  I said oh yeah, I'm going grey, all in this front section of my hair.  He says (not a lie) "Ew oh my god don't tell me that!  That's like me telling you that I have a small willy.  Not a good thing."  "Wow.  Are you serious?  Like, actually are you for real?"  He gets that this was not an appropriate thing to say and then says "Thanks for going halves with me on the bill.  I went out with this other woman who was 35 and she had a job and everything and I asked her if she wanted to split it and she said, no, you're going to pay for it.  It got me really mad because, you know £70 isn't that big of a deal, but still, she has a job, she's established!  But you know, you really screwed yourself over when you reached for your wallet and pulled it out.  I would have paid for the whole thing, but since you offered, what was I supposed to say?"
"Well, most gentlemen would say, no, please, I've got it"
"Ha!  Yeah, but if you offer, I'm going to turn you down!"
"Wow."

So, after this every time he goes to the bathroom (which is a lot, I think there is a bit of an issue there), I pour my wine out behind the bar.  I also get a text from another guy and arrange a date with him for next Wednesday.  Finally I can't take it any more and say ok I'm going to head home.  So we walk out and I hail a cab.  He asks which direction I'm going and I pointed to the east.  He said, oh well you'll probably go past my house so can you just drop me off on the way?  I said um sure.  He gets in and starts talking about a third date.  I say nothing.  He stops the cab driver and says, anywhere over here is fine.  He hops out, says good night and walks away.  Without offering to pay.  The door closes and I say, well that's just perfect.

The cab driver laughs and says "bad date?", so I tell him all about it and when we get to my house he laughs and says "good luck!".

I've clearly ignored his text asking about a third date.