"There are no accents in America"

If one more English person tells me they hate Americans I may loose it. I actually almost did last night.

Alco, Eddie and I went out for a few drinks after work last night. This bar has picnic tables outside which is always nice to get because its so stuffy in these bars. So group of people who were sitting down get up and Eddie Alco and I go to sit down, when this group of 3 very large women and one guy go for it. Eddie has a knee brace and a crutch, so I assumed these beasts would let us have the table. They quickly announce how long they have been waiting so they guess we can split the table. Fine. Then they tell us how they don't care if Eddie has a brace or not, they don't even get up for pregnant people on the tube. Charming. I know immediately something is going to go down later. But the boys and I go back to our convo and the Kathy Bates fan club does there thing. A little later I said the word "caveat" which, apparently, is not a word that's thrown around here. So Alco turns to the our table neighbors and says "Excuse, my friend is America and..."
"Oh what, did you just hear us bashing Americans?"
A shocked looks comes over my face.
Alco continues asking them if they use the word caveat (which is a word this woman probably has never heard in her life not because she is British but because she is clearly uneducated). They confirm the word is not used in every day settings, but that the word is a word. Well thank for that, clearly I'm not making up Latin here.

So for whatever reason we continue speaking to these women. Alco asks why they don't like Americans. The ring leader sitting across from us says "Well I hate Americans"
me: "yes, well can you elaborate? Why?"
RL: "Well its everything! I mean, you're just so loud!"
me: "yes, we are loud. so what else?"
RL: "um. well. I mean I hate Americans, they are just so loud."
Profound.
me: "you probably shouldn't be rocking a shirt that says 'Minnesota' if you hate my country so much"

So she then continues to tell me about how she used to really hate Americans but then had two friends from Minnesota who changed her opinions of Americans. She tells me how Americans are idiots because we think all British people sound the same. I told her yes, maybe Americans that have never hung out with British people do, but after a day in the culture any idiot would realize there are different accents. She says that's the problem with America, there are no different accents. There is the west coast, and the south, but that's it.

Uh huh. I tell her that actually that's not true. I hail from a state that takes about 2 hours to drive from one end to the other and you can pass through three distinct areas with different accents.
RL: "Yeah, ok well so there is those three, the west coast, and the south. Everyone in the middle sounds the same"
me: "Actually there are a lot more."
RL: "No there isn't"
me: "I'm pretty sure I would know. And I guarantee if I dropped you in the middle of New Jersey you wouldn't be able to distinguish where anyone is from"
RL: "Yeah I'm sure I could"
RIIIIIGHT.

At this point I'm starting to get agitated so I turn back to the boys. Until I hear this gem: "I think that Americans have to thank Barack Obama for changing the world's view of Americans. I mean, he's so amazing and has made everyone SOO happy! Hopefully he'll be able to fix the view that Americans have of gay people."

Now, I don't care if you are Republican or Democrat, you can see faults in this statement. So I get sucked back in. I explain that I agree the world was happy to see Bush go, but if you pick up an American newspaper you'll see that a lot of the same policies are being recycled from the Bush era and Obama has pissed plenty of people off. Then she goes back to the gay thing.
"Well I'm a lesbian, and I can't believe that in California I can't get married but in Vermont I can"
me: "I'm actually a fan of gay marriage and think the main issue that Americans have with it is the word marriage, and that should actually be taken out of any government forms and you'll have it taken care of. That being said, Californians voted on this. They are the ones who decided, not the government."
RL starts throwing out number about the average age of voters and this that and the other thing.
me: "Well you can't blame Bush or anyone else for the fact that if Californians who support gay marriage are too lazy to get off their asses in a 12 hour window to go tick a box. They made the regulation what it is."

She didn't like that very much. Hahah. Stupid.

But honestly, homegirl deserved a lashing. Especially one from a LOUD American with a non-southern accent.