Christenings gone Wild

The weekend between the two weddings was little Tankerton's christening party.  It started out like any other christening.  Well...I guess not really.  We were at the church and the baby to adult ratio was about 1:1.  I could really pay attention to what was going on or stop laughing because all of the little babies and kids were "feeling the spirit" as the priest called it.  No one was really crying or screaming, but they were definitely all engaged in dialog with God.  It was hysterical.

We get through mass and head back to S and big james' house.  It was a great party!  TONS of food, lots of booze, and lots of really fun people.  Around 6 pm, all of the kiddies got taken away to grandma and grandpa's house, or went home with one of their parents.  It was funny, you could almost see a collective exhale from the parents that were left.  It was finally time for them to get down.  And get down we all did.  Around 11:30 my flatmate and her bf showed up.  The party was going.  At about 12:30-1, me, my flatmate, her bf and her BFF all decided to share a cab home.  Right as we are calling it, the BFF, very excited about Tank entering the holy family, falls over.  Onto a table with lots of glasses.  We all laugh, ha ha ...BFF are you ok?  Yes, yes, I'm fine hahah.  I say, ok cab will be here in a sec, I'm going to go to the bathroom.  When I come back out, BFF is sitting on a chair with my flatmate, S and big james sitting all around her pressing towels on her knee.  I hear my flatmates bf say "A&E" - brit talk for ER - and I just think, what the hell happened?

Apparently when the BFF fell down and landed on the glass, she cut her knee open.  Badly.  So the cab comes and the 4 of us pile in directing the cab to the closest A&E.  S gives us an extra bag of cheetos for the road saying we might be there a while.  How bad can it be?  It's 1 am in Cockfosters (end of the Piccadilly line...still London but like the suburbs)...what else could be going on?

Nothing, it turns out.  Nothing else is going on there.  Despite this, it still takes us 6.5 hours to get out of there.  So 6.5 hours, a sun rise (not as fun to watch as everyone says, by the way), 5 stitches and a bag of cheetos later, we're back in a cab on the way home.  Flatmate, her bf and I pile out of the cab, sleep walk up the stairs and then emerge 5 hours later to try and salvage the nicest day we've had all year.

Turns our a christening was the latest night I've had since college.  Who would have though?

A few more things...

I still have to write about:
1) Trip to paris with V and J and the girls
2) Marissa's hen do and wedding
3) Lindsey's hen do and wedding
4) Tank's Christening
5) 4th of July
6) Ke$ha - the concert that never happened

And then I'll be caught up.  But these are really big things and I've exhausted my brain so I can't think any more. TBC...

Bored - My wedding

I was at a day long conference in May (that's what we're up to right now) and there was one session that was the most boring thing I had ever sat through in my entire life.  It was like if my International Finance professor combined with that old nun that taught me some philosophy course.  Imagine if they had a child, and that child had a monotone voice, a bad sense of humor, and the most boring subject matter ever.  Give that child a microphone and that was the hell that I was in.

So I was looking around the table trying to figure out what to do.  My mind started wandering.  I thought "I wonder if I got married tomorrow, who would I invite to the wedding?"  This will be a fun game!  So I started.

Immediate family - 4 plus my brother's gf = 5
Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandma (no dates) = 35
Second cousins and their families who are basically like my cousins (not all of them but just the ones that we're close to) = 36 (and I'm pretty sure I missed some)

Friends.

This is where it got tricky.  I counted 65 that I definitely would want to invite, and there were 4 maybes.  The maybes, I've just decided, are getting the ax because I'm obviously WAY to popular for maybes :)

Total wedding = 141

Based on this, I had to make some tough decisions:
1) I need to marry someone I already know...Ideally someone who is already in my circle of friends
2) I need to marry someone who comes from a big family as well...I can't have my crazy family (yes, we're a bit crazy) scaring the man off after I've finally managed to trick him into marrying me.

Luckily, I have quite some time to think about this.

Bless.

Office manager (who is Irish): Kat, do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
Me: No
OM: (gives me a confused look with that head turning thing my dog used to do) But...you're american.
Me: Yes.
OM: And you don't watch it.
Me: No.  I find it annoying.
OM: Oh.  (looks like I just killed her puppy).

Seriously people?  As DSS would say...Bless her little heart.

Working from home means...

Lots of blogging because I have no one to chat with!!

So I just had a flashback to a dream I had last night.  I had a dream that I was home.  It's kind of like it was homecoming in DC, because it was like I was going to the baseball alumni game, but it wasn't.  I think it was a softball game?  Or maybe..oh I think it was my friend Mark's (who did play baseball) girlfriend's game (who I do not believe plays baseball..I've never met her).  Anyway, I was walking up to the field with Jess, and I looked at the stands where we were supposed to sit and my ex-boyfriend was there with his new wife and his father.  I was like, oh lord here we go.  So I sat down and waved at the ex when he was looking in my direction - I always try to be the bigger person despite how often it doesn't work out - and he pretended to look past me.  So I continued waving and said "Hellllooo 'EX'!  I know you can see me!!" (see how being the bigger person can quickly deteriorate?).  He then looked at me and said something to the effect of "why would I say hi to you??".  So I said, rightttttt.  And looked back to the game.  Then his dad came over and started talking to me for a while.

Then I woke up.  How weird?  Get out of my dreams!!

Luckily I got to sleep an hour later today since I don't have to treck into work, so I could get some nice, peaceful sleep in as well.

Oh, and the latest update on air travel: Apparently one runway is open at Heathrow.   So if there is no more snow, everything should be ok by Thursday.  But we'll just have to wait and see!

I'm getting bad at this

Hello.  You may have thought I died or something...I didn't.  I'm just lazy.  Well that's not true.  Here's what's been happening:

1) End of September I went back to DC for my 5 year college reunion.  It was a lot of fun, most of my favorite people were able to come to DC.  There were 7 of us (I think) staying at Jess's new studio apartment.  It was great to see everyone.  It had been some time since I had a full weekend in DC, so it was good to be able to do it right!  Of course it wasn't a trip to DC without visiting Pete Papageorge:

2) I landed back in London on a Monday morning, and then four days later headed off to Geneva for a conference.  It was very productive, but I saw nothing of Switzerland.  

3) I was back in London for two weeks.  I got a chance to meet Tank (Sio and Big James' baby) and then went out with Cam in Soho for birthday drinks for one of her friends.  While there, I met a boy.  Hung out with him a bit before I left for the next conference.  More on that later.

4) I headed off to Amsterdam for a week for a conference.  It was a really good conference and I actually got to see some of the city!  Of course, I didn't see any of the museums or anything because I only had free time at night, so that was disappointing.  I couldn't believe the red light district.  I felt very uncomfortable...like I was doing something very illegal that I was going to get yelled at for (that is walking down the street with naked women in the windows...I didn't actually DO anything!).  

5) Back to London for a week, hung out with that boy some more.

6) Off to the states for a conference.  I looped in a trip home to see my family.  It was a short trip (a week total, 4 days in texas, 3 days with the folks), but it was good to get home and see everyone.  I ended up going into the city to see my brother's new place so that was really good as well.

7) Back to London.  I'm not travelling again until Christmas.  It's been an INSANE few months, but it was worth it, and now I'm getting ready for the big Christmas season. 

Ok so now with this boy...I have some how managed to land myself a boyfriend.  He is meeting all of my friends on Saturday when he comes to Thanksgiving dinner.  In the past, we've had Thanksgiving dinner at my friend Allison's house.  This year, she has a baby, so it's a bit harder for her this year.  V is hosting it at her house, and I'm being the advisor on food.  I've got a 9.1 kilo turkey in my freezer, and then I'm doing the gravy (obvi), stuffing, and making a pumpkin pie.  I've assigned side dishes to everyone that's coming...we've got about 17 people coming so it should be interesting!!

Other than that, work is going very well...so just need to make it through the next month!

Catch up...

It's been quite a busy two weeks, so I have lot's to catch up on!

-Last Monday I saw Rihanna in concert and then Thursday saw Third Eye Blind.  Holy high school batman, what a flashback.  I had visions of Mr. Battiato's class where we had to read lyrics to a song and then analyze them or something.  I think like three people did Jumper.
-Last wednesday I was supposed to meet up with another guy from the dating website.  He confirmed at 5 pm that he could meet at 7, and then at 6:15 he texted to cancel because "work called" and needed him to do a presentation. "sorry".  Haven't heard from him again, so that was a blow off.  Ahh...is there any form of rejection sweeter than the kind delt by people who don't even know you?  I think not.  ps is delt a word?  because spell check is telling me no.
-Saturday I went to Byron for lunch which has the best bacon in London.  Check it out.  The chef was so happy that certain people in my party were so impressed with the bacon, that they gave us a plate of bacon for free.
-Sat evening was lindsey's b-day bbq which was a lot of fun.  Then the next day she got ENGAGED!! Oh, and her fiance's car is going to be in the new matt leblanc show which is pretty cool!
-This week has been pretty tame (comparably), which has been lovely.
-Tomorrow is a going away party for JamTam, who are moving to Hong Kong :( but they will certainly be sent off with a bang.

And finally....

It's the hottest day of the year today!!  It's supposed to top off at 77.  It's already 66!  Bring on the British SUMMER!!!

Happy St Patrick's Day!! and complete randomness

HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAY!!  Today is the day when all Americans are Irish.  In Ireland and Northern Ireland its a national holiday.  At Catholic University, 1/4 of the student body is currently passed out as a result of starting the day with kegs and eggs at 9 am (the only time the college students have seen single digits on the clock in the morning), half of them are at a party on newton street or johnny k's, and the other 1/4 are at mass because, after all, this is a holy day of obligation.  Here in London, only 3 people in my office out of 15-20 realized it was St Patrick's Day before I said "Happy St Patricks Day!!"  Silly brits.  After work we are going to go out for a few pints, but nothing compared to what the celebration is like back home, that's for sure.

Ok here comes random time:

1) My flat has been sold!  Hurrah!  And they are honoring my contract which means I can stay AND the rent won't raise!  Fantastic news.

2) Someone asked me yesterday what the country code for Canada was.  I just laughed and laughed.

3) Lauren was just here for the weekend.  We had a great time!  I took Monday off and the weather was great! We went to the Supreme Court to see lawyers in wigs.  Hysterical.  We also walked all around the south bank, did the Eye, went shopping, and got Indian in Brick Lane.  Overall, a great mix of what London is like for her.  Saturday night we went out and met some very fun people.  We also thought that we were awesome and decided to drink dirty martinis all night. This resulted in minimal activity on Sunday, but it was great because its been so long since we hung out that chill time was totally necessary!

4) Lauren did get to see some funny things about the brits.  Like differences is word and phrases, or more random things.  Things like they think that Doug and Brian are the stupidest names for guys.  We all laughed about that one.

5) Speaking of weird things, the other day my boss said "envisage", for example, I envisage the website to look like this when its developed.  I laughed a little and thought, silly man, he means envision.  Then someone else replied using the word envisage.  I have more investigating to do about this word.

I think that's it for now.   I have a pretty chillaxed weekend ahead of me which is definitely welcome after this week!  Happy St Patrick's Day to all!!

And the hits just keep on coming...

So after talking to some of my friends about the impending flat sale, they reassured me that even if she does sell it to someone who will move in, the whole sale process will probably take several months, so I'll probably be good throughout the spring. That made me feel better. No use crying over what may or may not happen. Then I got home Friday...

I went out on Friday after work for what ended up being several beverages. At about 11:45 I rock up to my house, slightly intoxicated, to my landlord, and several members of the British Police Brigade. Awesome. I stumble, I mean, walk up the stairs and talk to my landlord. She tells me the flat below and above me got robbed, mine is fine. They didn't get in. It looked like they tried to bust the door, but then realized there was a deadbolt thrown (thank you dad - your obsession with security has paid off), so they just went to the girl below me. SHE was actually in the flat, asleep, (this was 9:30 on a Friday night), so she heard them, screamed and called the cops.

So I go up to my flat, go in, and give it the once over to make sure everything was fine. The cops came up and installed a padlock on the flat upstair's door because the locks were all completely shot. The cops (who were kind of laughing at my intoxicated state) enjoyed that I didn't seem too bothered about anything. They said when your neighbor gets home, tell him to call this number and we'll unlock it. I went in to my room and got in pajamas and tried to think as to whether or not I should be nervous to sleep in the building. I tried calling my friend who I was out with earlier, but he had also been slightly intoxicated and didn't answer his phone. I decided that it was a good thing I was drunk because I wasn't freaking out, and just decided to sleep in my own place.

About 5 minutes later I get a knock on the door. Its my polish neighbor from upstairs.

"Uh, yes, hello. Can you please to tell me what happened?"

"OH. MY. GOD! I have SOOO much to tell you! COME IN! Have a seat! Ok so here's the deal. Basically I went out with my friend tonight and I rock up to the house and its none other than the motherfreaking PO PO greeting me! I mean, how crazy right? OMG, how rude. Do you want a beer?"

So I get him a drink, finish telling the story and then we call the police. It was quite the bonding experience. By 1:30 I was finally in bed.

The next morning, I hear the girl downstairs talking with the polish man, so I open the door and start talking to them too. The girl downstairs (I think her name is Fran or something), looks at me and said, so I heard you were a little drunk last night. Do you have a hangover?

SERIOUSLY? Who are you? Who says that? I wanted to reply, no I don't have a hangover, thanks for asking. I do, however, have a life, which is why I was out on a Friday night. Maybe if you got yourself one of those you wouldn't be freaking out right now about having your flat broken into when you were there.

Yes, so that was my Friday. Never a dull moment!

Jersey Shore Post

Ok I know I've only seen two episodes of the Jersey Shore (and I loved it), but I feel like I have to say something, and saying on facebook will only cause a slew of comments to my post from people who are too ridiculous to address.

So I saw two episodes of the show and I thought it was hysterical. The characters on it (and they are clearly characters) are basically gross exaggerations of the italians that everyone from Central and North Jersey went to high school with. The only problem is these kids aren't from Jersey (except Sammy). They are from Staten Island, Rhode Island (jury's still out as to whether or not this actually counts as a state), the Bronx, etc. This makes sense since the show is set in Sleazeside. The last time I went there, it was the weekend after my senior prom. That is where 17 and 18 year old Jersey kids go to party. Rock on MTV.

So here's my frustration. Jersey already gets a pretty bad rap, which is cool. We are tough, and used to it. But now all these randos are popping up with Jersey Shore parties, and every duschbag at the bar thinks its funny to pump his fist.

Next season the show is in Sea Isle next season. Now, instead of New Yorkers pretending to be people from Jersey, it will be Philly and Maryland trash (definitely even worse than New York). At least people from NY are guidos...Philly and Maryland people are just a hop, skip and a jump away from living in a trailorhome.

I guess the joke is on the whole Northeast coast, because while the world is watching these people punch women, flash their hoo has, and just be overall idiots, they are just seeing how incredibly stupid people from NY, PA, MD, etc are.

All us Jersey folk will continue to take the money they bring into the shore to fund our amazing public schools, and laugh and laugh. Random rant over.

Things I say that people don't get

On a daily basis, I say things in my office that people used to say "huh?" to, and now they just ignore me and move on. I, then, ignore the fact that they don't get what I'm saying, and just laugh to myself. Here are some of those things (most of them are Seinfeld references - that show did not fly here):

"I'm so excited! I'm so...I'm so scared!"
"It's gold, Jerry!"
"Yes, but where do you put the meat?"
"Why don't you just tell me the name of the movie you want to see?"
"laa laa laa...helloooo!"
"He's already gone, chief" (this is such an obscure reference, no one really gets it)
"We're not having peas, George!" (family folklore that only a select few will understand)
"Some body's coming home in a body bag!"

Because I'm Bored...

There are three weeks left in the quarter, 5 days of which have the potential to be productive. Starting on the 18th, no one is going to be in their offices. Any chance I have at closing sales is essentially done, now I'm just waiting for the orders to come in. This means my days are filled with me trying to entertain myself and find new companies for next year. Thus, I am bored. I thought I would regale you with a story about the worst shower ever made.

Last weekend I went to Verity's house on Saturday night. We were planning on ordering food, watching X Factor, and then I was going to sleep over because Hillary's baby shower was taking place about 10 minutes from V's house (as opposed to the hour or so trip it would have been from my place in West London). So we devoured way to much Indian food, I yelled about how annoying Stacy is and how she makes me want to poke my ear drums out with a dull knife, and V talked about her future wedding with Ollie. Then we went to bed and woke up the next morning to shower and get ready to head to Hillary's. When I was in the bathroom the night before, I noticed that the shower head was sitting on faucet. I asked V, "V, how do you shower? Do you just hold the faucet above you?" She just started laughing, and said "oh this is going to be funny tomorrow." Since V lives on the 3rd floor (2nd floor to Americans) of her apartment complex, the water pressure doesn't allow her to hold the faucet over her head. Instead, in the morning, she leans over the tub to wash her hair first, then when that is done, puts it up in a towel, and then gets in the shower and baths the rest of her.

So at 10 am on Sunday, I headed in the bathroom to try and conquer this shower. I decided that I couldn't stand bending over the tub to wash my hair first, so I went right in. She wasn't kidding. If I held the faucet up to shoulders, the water stopped running. I stared at the shower head for a while, thought about it, and then I knelt down. If I lifted the faucet over my head, the pressure still stopped. I again stared at the shower head for a while, thought about it, and tried channeling my days in elementary school when we had to do problem solving exercises. The best thing I could come up with was to get lower. So I sat indian style. There I was, a 26 year old grown adult sitting indian style in a bath tub. Certainly not my finest moment.

When I was done, I asked V how she has been doing that for 3 years. Granted she's about 4 inches shorter than me, but still. Ridic. Stupid London.

Things that are great about living alone

1) No one to judge your crappy television selection
2) You can eat straight out of the container without any looks
3) If the dishes don't get done, you have no one to blame but yourself
4) If you want to go to bed at 10:45, you can, and don't have to worry about anyone staying up late and keeping you awake

Last night was the first night alone in bed and it was great! I didn't get freaked out by any noises. I also realized that I like that my upstairs neighbor is a lovely fat german/polish/middle europe something. Hearing him upstairs is comforting knowing that someone else is around.

I have unpacked allll of my boxes, and all but one of my suitcases. I have to do laundry tonight, buy cleaning supplies (right now my tub is clean enough to have a bath in and I am going to keep it that way come hell or high water!), a hammer, screwdrivers, and a chain for my door.

ALSO, major score!! Last night I found a toaster and a kettle under the sink! I'm thinking I might be able to get away with not having a microwave. I can always heat things up in the oven, right? Or, there is always the whole learn to cook thing..hmm.

V was reading my "Rocco gets real" or whatever Rocco's cooking book is. She read the recipe for some kind of salad and she said "Do you know this says, 'Buy a rotisserie chicken'?? Its not COOKING if you are mixing a precooked chicken with salad!" I said, um...its cooking to me! She thinks my "How to boil water" cook book is going to be better for teaching me ACTUALLY how to cook and not just how to shop for pre-cooked food.

One year on (as the Brits would say)

So this past Monday celebrated my one year anniversary in London. I seriously can't believe how fast the year has gone by, and how much has changed in the past year. This time last year, my office was in a different location, I had no friends (but the promise of some through a kind soul at my old company who was connecting me with her college friend and his wife), and I was about to move in with people who I had met once for about 20 minutes.

One year later, I work in an office with twice as many people, I have a great group of friends, and am about to move into my own place. On top of that, my friends lives have been changing a lot too. Tam and Lindsey just bought houses, Hillary's about to pop with a baby, Chris is working in Helsinki (that's in Finland - I had to look it up too. Oh you didn't? Shut up), Sio is engaged...crazy changes are happening!! In two weeks I'm about to celebrate the one year anniversary of meeting most of my friends by going to Allison and Chris's turkey day celebration. Last year I showed up with microwaved mash potatoes that I had to search high and low for in ghetto SheBu. This year I'm rolling up with a bit of a crew (Liz is in town from Bath! and Rachel and Jess will be in town!!), and I'm in charge of dessert. Lots of pies and cookies!

Surprisingly, even after a year, I'm still learning new things every day. On Monday, I was reading an article about how British spies foiled a plan to blow up the NYC subways. It referred to Scotland Yard. I had to call out, "Um, can I ask a really stupid Brit question?"
Eddie (he sounds like a Beatle): Sure Kat
Me: So you Scotland Yard? Is it, like, IN Scotland, or is the British police, or is it all of the UK?
Eddie: Wow, that really is a stupid Brit question. Ok, its the headquarters for metro police. Its a London thing.
Me: Ohhh..gotcha.

A little later that day I was talking to Jess online about her excitement to come to London. She had one specific request: she wants to see my keyboard.

I told her, well you know its not that different. The @ is over the apostrophe instead of on the numbers. And the " is over the 2. Also the £ is over the three and there is no number sign.

THEN, my finger slipped and a # popped on the screen. I shouted in excitement and confusion. I think stopped, stared at my keyboard until finally I found it! The # was hiding LITERALLY under my fingers the whole time!! Right next to the enter key and next to the @. Its just so close to the enter key that I had always overlooked it. Then I started to really questions my own intelligence. It took me exactly ONE YEAR to find a key on my keyboard that has less than 100 keys total. As much as I started to hate myself for my stupidity, I was far too excited to let that get to me.

So the next few weeks will be really busy for me. Saturday is Beyonce WHOOP WHOOP, then going out to celebrate Verity's birthday, then moving into my new place on Sunday. I've never moved not hung over, so why start now?

The 90s

I find this blog HIGHLY entertaining, and always makes me go "oh yeah!!" whenever I read it. Here's one for you kids of the 90s: http://childrenofthenineties.blogspot.com/2009/10/dont-tell-them-its-educational.html

Everything Ashton Kutcher

So Jess makes fun of me all the time because I love everything Ashton Kutcher. He is a bad actor and makes bad movies but I don't care. I heart him.

Its a good thing I do! I just had an epiphany and realized that the girl that I talked to last night at the casino was a contestant in Beauty and the Geek!



Her name was Lauren and I think she was from Season 1. Good times!

Awesomeness part 5 of the weekend

Last night I went to a casino with a friend and some of his friends. Normally I would sit back and watch the gambling take place, but my friend suggested I join in on the fun. I took out some money and hit the blackjack table, first betting with someone else who was playing, and then I took a seat for myself. Once I had enough winnings to play with, I put aside my starter money. By the time we left I had more than £300! As winnings!! Whoop Whoop!!

As I was cashing out there was a girl in front of me and the girls I was cashing out with. She started talking to us after hearing I was American. She was about 2 feet tall, blond and very pretty. The girls I was with said she looked really familiar, so I'm pretty sure she is someone, but just like a D lister. Maybe I've seen her on the Girls Next Door or something. Yay good weekend!

Bad Dates 101

I started to put this post up a few months back, but then I took it down because I thought, what if the guy that I'm seeing (at the time) sees this and knows that I am blasting him? But that's long done, and I was just reading fmylife.com and looking at some bad dates people put up there, so I thought this might be entertaining.

Basically after I broke up with my college bf of a year and a half (on and off), I went on a crapload of bad dates. That was in the beginning of 2006 (actually it was January and I remember this because the ex-bf had bought me tickets to a Bon Jovi concert for Christmas and then called me in January right before the concert after I broke up with him and asked me if he could get the tickets back because someone was going to pay him "like a million bucks" for the tickets (I'm so sure). I said, sure I'd love to give that gift that you gave me back to you, despite the fact that I am asking nothing in return from you. Since they were e-tickets, I basically just had to not use them. After a few glasses of wine, my roommates and I were plotting whether or not we should just take the tickets, go to the show like 2 hours before it starts and get in before him. But we rose above that somehow)..anyway what I was saying was it was the beginning of 2006 that my bad dates started accumulating. These are their stories. DUN DUN


The Old Guy
I can't remember where Meg and I met these guys...it might have been Front Page. But the two of us were out and started chatting with these two guys. I ended up exchanging numbers with one of them and low and behold he actually called. He wasn't that cute, but he was kind of interesting, was a JAG lawyer, and we had a good phone convo so we decided it would be nice to go out to dinner. At this point I had pegged him at maybe 27, which was fine, I was 22. We went out for tapas (which I hate. I like to have my plate and I eat off it and you have your plate and you eat off it). During our conversation of "getting to know each other" he started talking about his siblings.
me: oh how many siblings do you have?
old guy: 2 brothers. My youngest brother, he's 31, just got married, so I just got to see the whole family recently.
me: (choking on my sangria) Um I'm sorry did you just say your YOUNGEST brother was 31?
old guy: yeah.
me: oh.

So obviously I went out for one more date with him, and then gave him a call (actually I texted haha) saying that I think I need to be with people my own age.

Not that bad of a date, but I realized I am an awful judge of age.

Mr. Commitment
I met this guy at a bar where my friend's band was playing, exchanged numbers, and, again, this guy called. We ended up going to a microbrewery. I'm all about drinks on the first date, but a microbrewery? Ew. And we were going there for dinner. I felt like it was the equivalent of going to Fridays. So we get there and they said, 40 minute wait for a table, or you can just sit at the bar. This guy says, That'd be GREAT! So we head over to the bar and join all the other unwashed masses that make up Arlington, VA. He proceeds to tell me all about his time in the Secret Service and how he's commencing to the next level in a week. His aunt and uncle are coming to town for it. Do I want to go?

RED FLAG. Mr. Commitment, you are no friend of mine. I haven't even finished my beer and you are asking me these things while I have a 300 pound, loud, GROSS woman sitting on the other side of me? See ya.

Case of the Con Queso
I met this guys through a friend. She worked with him at a company that lobbies for the legalization of pot. I kind of knew from the beginning this wasn't going to work out, but I had nothing else going on so I thought, why not? He tells me he's going to be in the area that I worked on Thursday, so let's meet up for dinner, he knows a great Mexican place. Perfect. I love Mexican. At 4pm he calls and says, hey I have to swing by my parents place before hand, so do you want to meet at 7. I said that sounds fine, I'll go out for some drinks with work people and then meet you. So I go out, have a few drinks, then start walking over to the restaurant. He calls at 7:02 asking where I am. I said I'll be there in a hot second. Red Flag number 1.

I get there, STARVING, since I haven't eaten noon and I've never been the girl that is afraid to eat on a date. So I rock up, we get seated and the waiter brings us our menus. I look and say oh man, is there anything that's really good here that you would recommend?
con caso: Well the Con Queso is awesome
me: oh ok cool, so do you want to get that as a starter then?
cc: well, the thing is, I kind of already ate (RED FLAG 2!)
me: um...what?
cc: yeah my parents guilted me into it. sorry. (RED FLAG 3!! - clearly some sort of mother issue)
me: um. ok but this was supposed to be dinner right?
cc: yeah. but I mean, if you want to get something, like the con queso or whatever, that's totally cool.
me: riiiight. ok...waiter? yes, we're going to need some more drinks

So that's what I had for dinner: con queso - which was actually NOT good! It was a 2 centimeter layer of hard congealed cheese on the bottom of a bowl with like 5 tostitos - and several Coronas.

"That couple" guy
I have this theory that people who peak early in life often suffer later because they never had to develop a good personality. Obviously this is a blanket statement so there are exceptions. But typically if you peak later, you have to develop a good personality to get by on, since in high school (or early in life) you didn't really have the full package yet. I met the ultimate early peaker. He was good looking, yes, but the most self involved person I've ever met (therefore making him hideous).

We went out for the worst date ever. The first 45 minutes were spent with him arguing with two guys at the table next to us about something Scots vs Brits or something...I don't even know. I actually turned to the people at the table on the other side and asked if I was on a candid camera program because the scene was so unbelievable. I was about to get up and walk out, when the date tapped me and said ok GIRLFRIEND (AHHH!!! Not the G word!!) let's go to the next bar. Ughh...ok so we walk over the next bar where he proceeds to tell me several things after I say, "BTW, I'm a bit of a commitmentphobe, so you are going to have to be patient with me." In his world the following things were appropriate to say after that:
"I'm going to Australia in August (it was June). Do you want to come with me and visit my family?"
"Would you ever move to Australia for me?"
"Next time you wear that grey cardigan, you should tell me because I have one that looks just like it, and we could match."

This one set me off.
me: "Noo..that's really retarded"
him: "oh come on! it will be funny! We could be that couple that people hate!"
me: "I don't want people to hate me. I like when people like me."
him: "oh we are totally hot enough for it! All the guys will want you to dump me and all the girls will want me to dump you. It will be perfect."
me: "I don't think ANYONE is hot enough for that. I think you are a bit confused as to who I am."

Ugh. Awful!! I think my friends and I could write a book. I can't wait for several more years of this.

Motivational Blog of the Day

So I promise to write about that show, but today is a short day for me because we have our company Summer Picnic. Its like 65 and cloudy, so I'm not sure how cheery the picnic will be. If it rains we are just going to have it in the office. We have 12 bottles of wine, a bottle of Pims, sandwiches, chesse and crackers. We have about 20 people in the company so I think this could be fun. People have also brought "picnic sports" such as frisbee and badmitton. How British. Anyway, below your motivation for the day. The moral of the story is just because someone thinks your idea is stupid, don't give up!

Computers in the future will weigh no more than 1.5 tons." (Popular Mechanics, forecasting advance of science, 1949.)

"I think there's a world market for maybe five computers." (Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943.)

"I have travelled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." (Editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.)

"But what is it good for?" (Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, commenting on the micro chip, 1968)

"There is no reason why anyone would want to have a computer in their home." (Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp, 1977.)

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us." (Western Union memo, 1876.)

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?" (David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920's.)

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?" (HM Warner, Warner Bros, 1927.)

"A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say that America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make." (Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting the Mrs Fields Cookies business.)

"We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." (Decca Recording Company rejecting the Beatles, 1962.)

"Heavier than air flying machines are impossible." (Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.)

"If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this." (Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3M PostIt Notepads.)

"So we went to Atari and said, 'We've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' They said 'No'. Then we went to Hewlett-Packard; they said, 'We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet'." (Apple Computer founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.)

"Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy." (Drillers whom Edwin L Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil, 1859.)

"Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau." (Irving Fisher, Economics professor, Yale University, 1929.)

"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value". (Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.)

"Everything that can be invented has been invented." (Charles H Duell, Commissioner, US Office of Patents, 1899.)

"Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction." (Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872.)

"The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon." (Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon Extraordinary to Queen Victoria, 1873.)

"640K ought to be enough for anybody." (Bill Gates of Microsoft, 1981.)
"Fred Astaire Can't act, can't sing, balding... Can dance a little." (MGM telent scout, 1928.)

"What can you do with a guy with ears like that?" (Jack Warner, movie mogul, rejecting Clark Gable, 1930.)

"You ain't goin' nowhere son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck." (Jim Denny of the Grand Ole Opry, Nashville, firing Elvis Presley after his first performance.)

"I'm sorry Mr Kipling, but you don't know how to use the English language." (Editor of the San Francisco Examiner, rejecting a short story from author and poet Rudyard Kipling.)

And finally there is the story, seemingly based mostly on truth, that Fred Smith, the founder of the multi-billion-dollar FedEx carrier corporation, originally proposed the FedEx concept in a college examination paper - for which we was awarded a C grade. Smith has broadly confirmed this story in later interviews, albeit with a little uncertainty as to how specifically he presented the FedEx model, and precisely how the examiner expressed his indifference. It's a good story nevertheless, and helps confirm not only that great oaks grow from tiny acorns, but also how difficult it is to recognize a particularly good acorn before it's grown.

I really asked for this one, didn't I?

So of course less than a week after I post about how ridiculous Swine Flu is, our office manager calls out sick. The phone doctor diagnosed her with Swine Flu. If I get it before I head to DC I will be very annoyed. I would like to get it between my DC trip and Hong Kong trip, or between Hong Kong and my NY/LA trip, or after October 9th, but before Halloween.

If Swine Flu could fit itself in my schedule then I'm happy to take 7 days off.